Sunday, May 12, 2013

Shardwolf: 8 months with mom (Part XII)

This is the 12'th part of Shardwold's lifestory. All rights goes to the original author who posted this on Livejournal:

So i was allowed to live at home with my mom. i started high school at horizon high school and at first everything was going really well. i was in a slight understanding of my illness but still not really understanding why i did what i did and other things. then i started going manic, i hit my mom. i hit my sister. both of them. i did not go to school for 4 days, and just stayed in bed. so my mom got in with a new therapist, Dr. Picus. it was pretty cool. she got me out of the 4 dententions i had. i used that alot to my advantage. i was a bastard i always knew how to get out of trouble. i also started to see Dr. Kalivas, who i saw until recently. i got some med changes and would do well for a few weeks but always have a major set back. i got another job at walgreens but that did not last long either, my mania once again getting the best of me. then i joined AZA, which was a jewsih fraturnity for high schools, part of the BBYO, and it was great. i made some good friends, but there was always something that made me feel like i was kinda only at certain things because i happended to hear them talking about it. in december of that year i was arrested cuz my mom was afriad of my cuz i was in such a rage that i was punching holes in the wall and i could have hurt her. i spent 2 weeks at st lukes hospital. i got out and went to a convention for the BBYO. then at the end of it i found out i got a call back for office max and was offered a job on the spot. it was cool i worked there for 4 months it was great. but i was still having the same issues. but i kept my job which was cool. i got sick on day from bad that was bad. i eventually gave two weeks then did not come in the last day and got fired. but i was elected in my group to be vice president. that was awesome. i was that for a bit. then for some reason, and i don't remeber why i got on a bus, and ended up in tempe like mill and university. i was walking around all night........and ended up at az mills where i got back on a bus and ended back up at university and mills, i don't think i could find that same route again. but i ended up talking with some lesbian chicks who let me sleep in their living room and i woke up and thought it was all a dream. then i called my mom who said i was going back to a hospital when she came and got me cuz i was unstable. so i hoped a greyhound bus to LA. i walk around there for a few days. walked from hollywood and vine to the santa monica peir. for those that don't know how far that is imagine walking from desert springs mall to desert sky. and finally tired and hungry i called my mom who was freaking out. my friend and mentor picked me up and took me home from LA. then i went to the hospital. i was there on week and they told me i was going to SUWS, and they put me on a day program. i did not want to go to SUWS, it was another wilderness program. so i had another episode so bad my therapist called the police. i was arrested for criminal damage. i ripped up my moms plants. i spent 15 hours in juvie. learned my lesson there. i was back at the hospital for another week and during that time i found out that i was going to a independant living program in taos NM, called San Cristobal Ranch Acadamy. but that boys and girls is tomorrows story. i hope that anyone who reads this enjoys something or learns something about me or anything else about themselves.

8 months with mom (The original testimony on Livejournal)

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