Book: Dead, Insane or in Jail: A CEDU Memoir

This book by Zack Bonnie tells the story about how to be forced to attend a CEDU bording school.

All the CEDU schools closed around 2005 after a number of lawsuits were issued by parents and former students.

Also several students disappeared never to be found again. Some of the children were most likely murdered by a serial killer James Lee Crummel who had unrestricted accesss to one of the campuses. To this day there are families out there looking for their relatives.

CEDU was founded in 1967 by an owner of a furniture business, who after a brief stint at Synanon created the first school in California where the main tool for transforming the children into the products their parents ordered were attack therapy.

The founder died in 2002. The school were sold but closed only some few years later due to the lawsuits.

The book provides a good insight into how it was to be a student in these special schools. After the original schools closed the concept were transferred into other schools where some are open even today.

Sources:

• Website about the book
• Article on Goodreads

Shardwolf: Living with my dad (Part IV)

This is the forth part of Shardwold's lifestory. All rights goes to the original author who posted this on Livejournal:

I was nine years old and i went from living with my mom and danny and then living with my dad. and i thought this would be a great move......and it was until a few months afterward. my parents always knew that there was something wrong with me, something that needed attention, i have been on meds since i can remember. my dad and i started arguing a LOT. i was a kid, i never really understood why i could not control these raging emotions that were going on inside me. my dad, however, knew exactly what to do. it started with spankings, which i am not against. this prgressed to grabbing me and throwing me down on the bed, grabbing my face and squeezing, spiting, and if i made it to my room, he would wait there, sometimes like an hour, till i opened up, and he would just pounce.......and not in the good way. i was scared, but i was not always in the right. things would escalate and other things, but eventually i stopped having as much contact with him as i got a nanny. we interviewed a few but i chose a girl named Kellie, which was the same name as my sister Kelly. she was cool too. she took me places and eventually moved in to save money. all this time though, through my constant out bursts, i was going to doctors, and lots of them. noting ever really seemed to get better though. one of the times i remember just losing it and kellie cut up my sword i got at disney on ice, but after shouting she told me she had fallen in love with me while working with me (this had been over a year by now, and NO DIRTY THOUGHTS, I WAS TEN) . i know it was true we where great togehter. but nothing changed. my mom went to a treatment center during the latter part of my time with him. my two sisters came to live with me and my dad. i don't remember much of that, but i later learned that my dad pretty much kicked out my older sister (not his kid) and she had to live with the Daily's (see ealier post) even to this day knowing how he treated both my sisters is heart wrentching. i blocked at lot of what happened. something i remember is my dad found out i went swimming with my mom at her house and he drove over my brand new power ranger toy. how do you do that. i mean there are a million other things he could have done. when i say ran over.........i mean he put it in the driveway and RAN IT OVER WITH HIS CAR. oh i remembered there was a kid, jonathan. we played around a lot. sexually. i did not understand why what i did felt good, but i alwasy thought i was an escape from dealing with my dad. we kissed and gave each other head. i did it once with one of my dads girlfriends like 4 year old kid. it haunts me to this day wondering if i gave him pyscological issues and mess him up like i am. it was not a sexual thing at the time. it was just something in my mind that was an escape. anyway that is enough of rehashing painful memories......i will pick up where i left off tomorrow. some more dad years then i we start to go into the beginning of my treatment years....till tomorrow folks

Shard M Wolf
to all those who take the time to read this.....thank you from the bottom of my heart

Source:
Living with my dad (Original Livejournal post)

Shardwolf: Things Get Rocky (Part III)

This is the third part of Shardwolf's lifestory. All rights goes to the author who published this on Livejournal

Well as the title says, this is when things get a little bit differant, a lot more dark, the rainbows and sunshine are no more.

I was 9, i was totally excited i got to start Mercury Mine (the big boy elementry school) and Taylor and i were going to go to school together. I don't exactly remember when he started to see my mom. What i remember is sitting on the computer (windows 95 YAY!) and my mom coming in. She told me she had gotten married. Now i was 9 and still was in the "they can still get back together" phase so i guess i felt betrayed. But i mean how does a 9 year old understand something like that. My mom was gone for a weekend and then there she is telling you she is married.

His name was Danny, and he was cool at first. he really was. I remember telling people i was Arthur Levi. We went to a place in durango, i guess he had a house there or something, and it was one of the first times i ever saw snow. i thought he was the greatest guy in the world.......and then things started to change. first it was the church thing. he was mormon and forced my sisters and i to go to his church.......you gotta understand i was raised jewish, i love being jewish and always have, so it was like i was betraying my people.

I don't know if people could really understand this, but look at is as a 9 year old who has a huge devotion to his real father deep down, who raised me jewish, and here i am sitting in an LDS church. and being forced to pray to jesus. it was really a mind fuck. and then the abuse started. he would grab me by the back of the neck and throw me around. we were skiing in durango and i we were leaving i was playing on a snow hill in the parking lot and the next thing i know i have a hang wringing my neck.. then the next time i remember was my babysitter took me on a bike ride cuz i could not sleep later in the evening.......then i went to bed afterward and a little while after i fell asleep i felt the hand and then i was thrown against the wall and got yelled at and spit at.

This went one for a few months and then i finally did not know what to do other then go live with my dad. so i did, i told me mom about Danny, and she did not really believe me. well the courts finally said i could live with my dad.....but that is the beginning of the story for tomorrow.......the dad years.

Hope you all had fun with this exciting installment till tomorrow

Source:
Things Get Rocky