Sunday, April 21, 2013

Allison at Cross Creek Programs

Hello, My name is Allison. I am 24 and I spent 2 years at Cross Creek Academy. from septemeber 2001- august 2003.

It was horrible. I think I was more lost and confused when I got out. It made me socially awkward and unable to think for myself. My own brother and sister were weirded out by my personality change.

They still to this day regreat that I ever went there. My sister is 10 years older then me and she has nightmares that my step mom will send me away and I come back as someone else. They said I almost seemed brainwashed. I feel like now that I am much older and going to therapy that I not only have to deal with the pain of childhood, but on top of that I have to sort through everything that happened to me at Cross Creek. I am still trying to rationalize the "processes" I had to go through. I constantly wonder "what was that suppose to teach me?"

I feel like the whole time I was there I had to survive. I had to keep all the staff happy and play these emotional games to keep pushing through so I could get out. Once, I was put on silence for 31 days. During the 31 days no one was allowed to communicate with me at all and I had to write essays. When I was done with essay's my therapist would have another girl rip it up in my face. The essay's continued over the 31 days. This included Christmas and new years. I didn't get to have any free time because I had to write these essays. Even during class I had to put my academics asside in order to try and get this impossible ammount of words my therapist assigned me.

My therapist denied me therapy during this time as well. And when I would go to him and ask him to get off the silence he would call me bad names and yell at me. When I was finally off the silence I asked him why he did that and he told me he was trying to mimick the abuse of my step father to open me up. EXCUSE ME! BUT THAT DOES NOT SEEM HEALTHY!!

When I finally came out to my parents and said that my step brother was abusive and that I was afraid to go home my therapist dropped me to level one and said that I needed to go back to the Manor because I play games with my parents. Of course after that I had to play their game and apologize to my family and tell them "I have trust issues" so I could move back up in phases. This therapist picked on certain girls. There was a group of us that tuck together and I feel that we were the most picked on by him. Once, I burned myself on the stove in the kitchen on accident and I was put on suicide watch because they thought I did it on purpose and wouldn't believe me that I didn't. Suicide watch entails being watched during your shower and going to the restroom. And you have to listen to audimated tapes on repeat and fill out questionnaires - ...ALL DAY! The list goes on and on.

I feel emotionally abused by this place and I am still in therapy because of it. Don't send you kids here. Move them out of their situation. Transfer their schools and put them in therapy. All they need is someone to listen to them. Believe it or not, but they are not acting out for no reason. One of these schools will only make things worse.


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