I was in PV in 2002, and I am still having nightmares.
They rank high on the warning lists for abusive program watchout sites. They hated me too. I don't know why. They knew I was turning 18 so at the end they just ignored me, I stayed in the locked unit for 4 months, gained 60 pounds from sitting on a bed and doing nothing.
I found out later I had sustained a concussion when they slammed my head into the floor during a restraint so hard I was left with a cut and abrasions across my forehead. Why? I sat up. Thats it. I had been laying on they fllor, they gragged me there, and I sat up, intending to raise my hand and ask to use the restroom, where they would have to examine my shit and piss before I could flush it, a method of humiliation, and was immediatly tackled. I have never had a violent day in my life, never raised a hand to anyone. I had low self esteem, I let men use me and I hated myself. At PV I just wanted to die. They told me one thing- You are an evil person with no concioncse and you are no good, nor ever will be. That was my "focus" for 3 weeks. The only one I ever got. It has taken my thereapist years to undo that damge. I thought I was really a sociopath because I trusted that these people knew the mind and were able to tell what was wrong. Others went off to the cabins.
I was finally left alone to sleep no school, no nothing just sleep all day everyday. I did everything alone, staff watched me shower too though. I was also molested by the male gynecologist. I knew nothing I said mattered. He told me right in front of the female nurse in the room, that I had a very nice, muscular vagina, as he fingered me innapropriatly. I know what a gyno feels like- I go yearly. This guy was sick! Also, The drugs they sedated me with made my neck twist around, the muscles would tanse up and I could not contol my head movements. Now I know I am not a sociopath, but that is a huge breakthrough for me. I was so much worse after PV, I almost killed myself, I thought I really was a piece of shit, b/c thats what they told me! I was hospitalized after slashing my wrists and getting them stiched up, the doc said why would you do trhis? You are a sweet and beautiful girl. He laughed and said, no my girl. I am treating you long enough now to tell you that! Your just an addictive personality.
Thats all. Now I am clean, through my spriritual ralationship and lots of love and counseling. I am married, and we have 2 sons. I love being a mom- but I still have nightmares about PV. I hope it stops someday. I am trying to forgive them.
The facility formerly known as "Peninsula Village" has changed ownership since this teenager was at the program. The structure of the program has been altered. If for better is difficult to decide.
- A Teen Recovery Autobiography by A Vona (I speak of Dreams blog)
- Factsheet about the program (Fornits Wiki)
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